When I first heard the magnitude of this trip, I assumed that Dad must have been planning it for a long time, he had probably even talked to Mom about it. I soon found out that I was very wrong.  

It came to him about a week before Christmas while walking his dog, Piper.  He is quick to say that it wasn’t an epiphany, but instead the Holy Spirit, who Dad says speaks to him regularly. With Mom passing about 6 weeks prior, he was pondering how things have changed now, considering bucket lists and how much time he had left.  

Well, I guess when you start thinking like that, you must start wondering how best to spend your next few years.  His first thought was about how, several years ago, he had raised the idea of a river cruise with Mom, but she hadn’t jumped for joy and so it was dropped.  Now, still wanting to do the trip and considering his advancing years, he wondered, what if I brought some of the kids along?

Next, he remembered how he and Mom had often talked about how they would have liked the family to experience the Yukon where they did mission work for over 2 years. They believed that it was hands down, the most stunningly beautiful part of Canada that they had seen, and they had seen nearly all of it (except Labrador).  But what were the chances that any of us kids would actually make it to the Yukon unless given a reason?   He decided to give us that reason now.  

When I asked him, Dad was quick to say that these trips would not have happened if Mom hadn’t passed. Perhaps they may have done the cruise together, if she had gotten better after that first surgery in early 2020.  Or perhaps they would have returned to the persistent belief that trips like these were not prudent ways to spend their hard-earned savings.  But priorities shift when a spouse dies, and Dad knew that he'd never have enough time to spend those savings, so meticulously gathered over the decades.  So, he had a choice, he could either leave it all in an inheritance or use it to create unforgettable memories, shared with his family.  GREAT CHOICE, DAD!

IF this trip had been planned while Mom was still with us, she would have researched the political situation in each of the countries that would be visited along the cruise, with equal parts worry and fascination. She would have been up to her eyeballs in the planning, leaving no meal choice or excursion option un-shared in group chats. She would have lost countless nights of sleep worrying about the details and spent countless hours on the phone with each of us, discussing every element.

Most especially, without a doubt, she would have lost her mind about the motorcycle trip and tried to talk us out of it. I wish I could say I’m sorry Mom, but I most definitely am not!  She would have invoked the Holy Spirit, the Virgin Mary and as many saints as she could think of to intervene and stop this trip.  Perhaps I can only be thankful that she hasn’t found the control levers from up in heaven quite yet.

PHEW!

Sharing His Dream

Motorcycles in the Morning

Heather, Chris, David and Dad gathered for Christmas brunch with various children and spouses as we have for most of the past 25 or so years.  After the hubbub of greeting and eating, Dad found himself a comfortable seat and quietly waited as we all gravitated towards him by the sofa.  Looking at Chris, David and me he started with “Who wants to go on a road trip?”  With a tentative, wary agreement from each of us, he told us of his plan to rent motorcycles in Edmonton (one of them had to be a Goldwing with him as passenger) and ride up through Alaska to visit his sister Lorraine.  My hand shot up in agreement immediately. I may have even jumped up and down (or maybe that was just in my head).  David and Chris agreed as well, although maybe not with as much childlike exuberance.  We decided that in order to allow enough time for Chris and me to get our licenses in order, and for me to get enough riding experience, we should plan for Summer 2025.

Dad thought of David, Chris and me for this trip because he knew David had recently enjoyed several long motorcycle trips, Chris had experience riding, although no longer owns a bike, and me, I guess just because he knew it would be right up my, ‘well that’s different’, alley.  He was tickled to hear that getting my license and buying a motorcycle was on my own bucket list – Bonus!

Cruising in the Evening

Theresa and Debbie had their own adventure proposal later Christmas day.  Understandably they were thrilled and willingly accepted the task of researching the perfect trip to fulfill Dad’s vision.  Theresa initially thought that it was just for Dad, Debbie and her only to find out later that evening when speaking with Debbie that it included their husbands too!  

Cruise - June 2024
The planning began in earnest. The cruise quickly took shape as Dad gave his very brief parameters – he wanted Europe and he wanted it to be 2-3 weeks long. They opted for a European river cruise on the Danube which would provide a slightly more intimate, casual experience. They chose Ama Waterways and the day was set for Father’s day (June 16). It was the only cruise line that offered both 14 days and alcohol included (important to this crowd!). It was also much better for Dad’s visual impairment since the beautiful riverside landscapes and views of ancient cities and castles were still easily enjoyed from the deck.

Bring in Alison, the travel agent!  What a gem! She more than managed the cruise booking – she managed the EPIC JOURNEY!  She got it – she knew that this was about Mom, about Dad, about family and WOW, she delivered!  She happily and enthusiastically fielded calls from Debbie and Dad with grace, patience and enthusiasm. To the point that it seemed to me that she would have happily joined our troupe. I for one, would have welcomed her.

Dad and Debbie continued to work on the details of the cruise that now included not just the siblings, but their partners as well.  Since Gus was going solo since I was going on the motorcycle trip, that meant that he had to bunk in with Dad. Dad’s only requirement was that he got to choose the side of the bed! Dates, rooms, insurance and airlines (Dad has points!!) … all had to be sorted. Dad’s, at times daily, conversations with Alison sometimes through tears of loss, were a beautiful diversion for Dad. He generally started the call with “Good morning, beautiful!” (bless you, Alison). I believe that these calls helped him deal in a special way with his loss of Mom. He had a wonderful, positive and happy thing that he could focus on while at the same time dealing with all the logistics of the estate (thank you Theresa!!).

Debbie took Dad shopping to ensure that he had the right clothes.  He insisted that he didn't need shoes since the ones Debbie had purchased for him as a gift 40 years ago just needed a bit of white polish! 

Early in February, David told me that if he had been given the choice, he too may have chosen the cruise. 3 years ago, he had already ridden a motorcycle up as far as the Yukon. I immediately saw my motorcycle trip turning into dust before my eyes - there were tears. Of course, he said that he still wanted to do the road trip. I thought, well, you can’t do both! Anyhow, long story short, you can.  Dad, in his continued generosity, told David that of course he could go on the cruise. Now I was the only one not participating in the cruise. Within a week, we found that there was another room and that David and I could both join the party cruise. What a summer!  A 2-week cruise in June and a one-month motorcycle trip to Alaska in August!

Dad's final touch was to book a limo bus to take us all to the airport together.  Meeting at his condo on our departure day and travel in style.  He really thought of everything.